20020731

also

My dad came home last night. He is doing well. And I put up a lot of favorite links to the right, as well as a couple of poetry links and a link to the instructions for the dog method of agression therapy.

Will write some of that truth-from-the-darkest-heart-of-me stuff soon. Things are calming down a bit. (Until my mother-in-law comes to live with us for two months starting next week. Anyone got an extra bedroom I can use for about eight weeks?)
just heard on WGN-chicago radio

"Hey Cubs fans! Did you know Old Style Beer, Chicago's Beer, is celebrating it 100-year centennial celebration?"

Glad you clarified that it wasn't one of those hyped-up 62-year centennials! Those things bug me!

20020730

on the phone with the cellular collections dept just now...

"You can pay your wireless bill with a check over the phone." Mr. Clueless about EFT offers.

"Cool. Let me get my checkbook" [Grabs used-up carbon check pad with checks 7976-8000] "Okay."

"All right. What's your check number?"

"Uh, I don't know, let's just say 3000." [Trust me, it doesn't matter]

"Is that a real paper check number?"

"Uh, no, but it doesn't matter. I'm not going to waste a good paper check on an EFT."

"Then you'll have to come into the store because I need a paper check number."

"Okay. Let's use 3000 then."

"Is that a real check number?"

"Absolutely."

[pause] "Okay, what's your account number?"

"You mean routing number?"

"Yeah, that . . ."

I give him all pertinent info. And he authorizes the payment.

"Your authorization number is 3432, please be sure and tear up that check..."

"Sure!" [I tear up the non-existent check that would have been a good check if I'd used a "real" check number]

". . . because the bank will print a paper one and sent it to us."

WHAT? Why? To hang it on the wall? If you had a paper check, you send it to my bank. Why the hell would they issue a paper check to you and turn around and get it back the next day? Why do you think we were waiting on your computer?

"Okay man, whatever . . ."
father update

For those of you following along at home, my dad should be released from the hospital today. Things look good.

20020729

here puppy, puppy, puppy

Mr. Greenjeans used to tell us on Captain Kangaroo's show that all puppies come to the phrase "here puppy, puppy, puppy." I"m inclined to agree.

Last night, She-who-must-not-be-named brought home a new (well, 8-week-old) pure black cocker spaniel mix bitch. (Not to be confused with the 1981 Pure Black Joe Cocker Bitch Mix of Michael Jackson's "Rock With You"). She comes to the call. She needed a name though. Since I didn't have any say in the last two dogs named, I insisted that I have a say in this one, so we had a little family debate.

"Natasha!"
"Sugar!"
"I like Natasha!" My oldest is insistent.
"Wait a minute." Daddy's voice of reason. "She's black! Let's call her something black like Shaniqua or Mercedes!"
Laughter, then guilt.
"I do like Mercedes," From the middle one.
"Yeah, Mercedes!" The Rooster
"Natasha!"
"Okay," say I, "I don't really like Mercedes, but here's a thought..."
She-who, "What?"
"It'd be like a Shakespearean thing plus a parody of Mercedes. Let's call her 'Portia.' P-O-R-T-I-A, It's from the Merchant of Venice, I think. She was a lawyer."
"I love it!" Mom says.
"Can Mercedes be her middle name?"
"Natasha!"
"Nope. Not Natasha, we've decided. It'll be Portia. And Mercedes can be her middle name. 'Portia Mercedes'"
Rooster: "Can we just call her Portia?"
Me: "Sure, we only need her middle name if we're mad at her. That's what middle names are for!"

Housebreaking time.

20020726

isn't this an old smothers brothers bit?

Man Dies in Vat of Chocolate.

He should have learned from Tommy Smothers lesson: Yell "FIRE!" when you fall into a vat of chocolate. Why? 'Cause no one will save you if you yell "CHOCOLATE!" ref (halfway down the page)

20020725

the evil underbelly of reality

Illustration 1
I finally had to walk my mom (almost forcibly) down to her car tonight. Dad is in a regular room now and she was worrying every single detail of the room to death (I will not describe the behavior as Italian or Jewish, but if my mom had a more Mediterranian look about her, you couldn't tell the difference. Think Raymond's mom from "Raymond" or George's mom from "Seinfeld." See what I mean?). It was driving Dad nuts (think about Raymond and George's dads). He's barely getting back to normal and mom is tying him in knots. Now this is not unusual behavior for my mom, lest you think it's brought on by stress of her husband being in the hospital, this is mode "normal." Usually my dad is strong enough to tell her to stop, but I had to tonight. "I'm going to wait right here till theat nurse brings him water," says she. "Okay she brought the water, I'll walk you to your car. Say goodbye." I think I caught a relieved look from Dad as we left the room.

Illustration 2
Clorox Ready Mops (among 70,000 other products) are soley a money-making product. They are not there to benefit us, the consumers. We've got one of these damned things and it won't even touch spilled pop. You can't wring it out! You have to put on a new, disposable cloth cover at about $1.00 a pop. It's just marginally convenient enough (if you buy thier floor-cleaning solvent bottles) that you want to use it over a standard mop. Annual cost for Ready Mop: about $100. Annual cost for regular mop: $5. Convenience is too expensive sometimes.

Illustration 3
This is too evil. I tuned to the local minor league baseball game on the radio in my car tonight and stayed on the station! I was actually listening to, following and enjoying the game. Crap, there's something wrong with me. I caught something infectious from those Red Hots at Fenway, I think. I'm going with Mary T. and some others to a Reds-Cubs game in Cincinnati after Fray Day 6. Evil.
from my mom
[Your dad] got the rest of his tubes, etc. taken out yesterday. He was sitting up in a chair with his glasses on at 9:15 this morning. He is eating some semi-solid food. He can finally talk and tell me what he wants. ("Scratch my back"). He said he was tired of sitting, so they put him back in bed before I left. They still don't know when he can get in a regular room so the grandkids can see him. Hopefully later today or tomorrow.
That's good news.
i grew up jewish in a gentile home

Deleted due to potentially anti-semetic language. And we don't want any of that...

20020724

off the ventilator

Well, my dad is off the ventilator and is only semi-sedated now. I saw him last night and he was fidgiting about trying (it appeared) to sit himself up. He kept saying--in a way that clearly took every ounce of concentration that wasn't sedated out of him--"Up." We thought he wanted the bed up. Nope. We thought he wanted to sit up. Nope. We thought he wanted to get up, and we told him that wasn't allowed.

I told the nurse that my gut was that his back was killing him from being on it for five days. She was like "Oh, nooo. I've had him sitting up, laying down, on his side. He's not been in the same position." Yeah right. You've had him in all those positions for about five minutes each. The rest of the time he's been on his back. But you can't argue with a nurse.

Well my mom and brother were in the ICU with him after that and figured out that he need to be on his side while mom rubbed his back. The nurse, of course, hadn't bothered to find out where his back hurt and it's probably not her job to massage a hurting patient, so mom came to the rescue.

My mom's always been mostly weird, but she's even weirder now. It'll be scary if Dad dies before her. Then there'd be no one around to keep the weirdness in check. Earlier this week, while Dad was yet unconcious from anesthesia, she wanted us to chant/cheer "Rah! Rah! Robert!," something she invented out of her helplessness. I love my mom, but I couldn't do it. It's just, objectively, so incredibly corny that if my dad could hear it it'd just piss him off. I've seen it happen so many times in my youth--her corniness driving him crazy. Her corniness would drive anyone crazy. I felt sorry for Dad, but doubly so in light of the cheer...

20020723

slow internet day?

I'm just sitting her astounded by the volume of email I'm not getting. Even from my in-house automated scripts (which implies low traffic to my e-commerce sites). Also it's like my friends (I'm not talking about anyone inparticular) all have important work to do and don't have time to email. I guess that's all fine, just strange for it all to happen to everyone I know on one day.

20020722

bitchen blog award


Bobby Burgess' blog is hereby Certified Bitchen
.
Very cool. Go there.
the reason

...I'm delayed in posting is that I had a flat tire on the way to work (which I have yet to fix), I went to the hospital (where my Dad is still sedated after a failed attempt at removing the ventilator) and I have like a month of budgeting and checkbook stuff to do tonight as well as visiting the hospital again.

Feeling particuarly overwhelmed right now and can't even prioritize, which would doubtlessly help.

20020720

update

My father made it out of only seven hours of surgery with flying colors and six "pretty grafts" (as the gorgeous head surgery nurse descibed them). He's become religious in the last couple of days. It is good blog fodder for me. Just you wait.
two things

my father...
is currently in for quintuple bypass surgery. Will get out about 6:00 p.m., it's an eight-hour surgery.

half mad spinster...
has (semi-)retired her blog. Typically, I would feel a great loss at a situation like this, but I don't. I'm not sure anyone has read so much of her blog as closely as I, and certainly none has memorized it as I have seemed to. But you know what? Mary T. isn't just a blog to me. She is a true friend and perhaps one of the best friends I've ever had. Even though I've never met her in meatspace, she is so 'real' to me that the loss of her blog doesn't mean the loss of her as a person. I am grateful for the inspiration I got from her blogging, but I am more grateful that the forces of the universe made us friends. Good luck, Mary T.

You deserve it.

20020719

shit.

I just found out my dad has three arteries 99% blocked and is going in for quadruple bypass surgery this afternoon. His father had the same surgery about 15 years ago. I'm the prime candidate among my brothers for requiring the same urgery down the road. I don't know what else to type...
sleep, glorious sleep

I got eight hours last night. Probably the first time in the month of July that I have. I'm a new man. I've written in the past about how I get terribly "depressed" when I don't get sleep, and that's certainly been me this week. No amount of telling myself that I'm only depressed because I'm tired helps. The depression compels me to stay up later to try to get something done (i.e. the undone things that I perceive are depressing me). So I get to bed late. Then it, of course, becomes a vicious circle. My first course of action when I'm depressed due to tiredness should be to go to bed, but it isn't. I need to train myself (and the rest of my family) to force myself into bed when I get that way. The problem is that going to bed with things undone makes me feel guilty because I'm of the type that really can get things accomplished if I stay up late. But only if I'm otherwise caught up on sleep. I don't realize that after two or three late nights, staying up late doesn't help anymore. This is an old record, I know. Sorry if the scratches bother you.

bork, bork, bork

For anyone following the comments on the last post, here's Google translated (by Google!) into Muppet Swedish Chef.

20020718

YAMS - yet another meme survey
from Kristiv

Which song:

reminds you of an ex-lover:
My Girl - Chilliwack

reminds you of an ex-friend:
Star Wars - MECO

makes you cry:
Butterfly Kisses - Bob Carlisle

makes you laugh:
Toledo, Ohio - John Denver

makes you wanna dance:
You Make Me Feel Like Dancing - Leo Sayer

makes you wanna sing:
She's So Unusual [Entire Album] - Cyndi Lauper

reminds you of the one you want:
New Age Girl - Dead Eye Dick

reminds you of the one you love:
Lady in Red - Chris de Burgh

do you wish you wrote:
Like a Prayer - Madonna

do you never want to hear again:
Reunited - Peaches & Herb

do you want to get married to:
Variations On The Kanon By Pachelbel - George Winston
and Building the Barn from Witness Soundtrack - Maurice Jarre

sums up your teenage years:
Jack and Diane - John Cougar

do you like to wake up to:
Renegade - Styx

do you like out of your parents' record collection:
Zombie Jamboree - Kingston Trio

do you love that you wouldn't know about if it wasn't for a friend:
Short Skirt, Long Jacket - Cake

do you love the video more than the tune:
Cry - Godley and Creme

reminds you of your first crush:
Crush on You - The Jets

do you love which is from your favourite movie:
Ride Of The Valkyrie - Apocalypse Now - Richard Wagner

makes you think of the moon:
That's Amore - Dean Martin

makes you think of stars:
You're All I need - Jack Wagner (sorry!)

makes you think of the sun:
Here comes the Sun - George Harrison

makes you think of the night:
In the Air Tonight - Phil Collins

makes you think of sex:
I Want Your Sex - George Michael

makes you think of being alone:
Losing My Religion - REM

20020717

blogger 503 workaround

If you're getting the 503 Template not found error a bunch in Blogger, try this.

  1. Edit template.
  2. Cut and Paste template code into a local text editor.
  3. Do same with archive template.
  4. Choose a standard Blogger template and publish. (It will work)
  5. Edit template again, pasting your original code back in.
  6. Do same for archive template.
  7. Republish.
This sees to "remind" blogger where to find your template.

You're welcome.
blog humor


from here

20020716

beat and busy

I keep getting not enough sleep. Last night I was cleaning (the best motivator is to invite company over!), then I was working on the Web site for the band. I think the logo turned out nice for a quick (read: 2 hour) hack.

Also, Tony Pierce commented on ("envied") my piece about Fenway. That makes it all worthwhile.

Finally, my oldest (who's eleven and I will begin referring to as "Katie" as that's what she wants to be called, but no one does) is the worst malingerer when it comes to cleaning. The mere mention of cleaning brings on Katie's "hurting stomach" and gradually more flu-like symptoms. Last night, she went through "tired" and "all over hurting" by the time the cleaning was done. She-who and I don't even concern ourselves with thei crying-of-wolf anymore. If it's time to clean and she says her stomach hurts, we make her clean anyway. Someday she'll learn.

20020712

fenway park
Boston, Part III (final), 3 July 2002

Let me start by saying that the following experience brought me one step closer toward being a baseball fan--that is to say it brought me the first step ever toward being a fan. I actually watched some of the all-star game the other night because I have, at least a newfound understanding of, if not a newfound respect for the game.

When Tommy and I entered the park, or should say drifted into the park along a rushing current of fans, he suggested we walk straight out into the stands to get a ground-level view of Fenway and The Monstah before finding our roof-top boxes. We hit an eddy of the fan-current on the lower-level at third base just as the Canadian national anthem was being sung. Over the strains of "Oh, Canada" Tommy leaned toward me.

"Do you see The Monstah?"

I did. It was obvious. Where left field should have stretched another thirty feet across Lansdowne Street, a 35-foot green wall stood instead. Later, Tommy explained that when John Taylor built the park there wasn't room to build the whole of left field so he build The Green Monster instead. A 36-foot 9-inch wall that prevented a low flying ball from too easily becoming a home-run hit. For a batter to hit one "out of the park" in left field, the ball would still need to be traveling almost 40 feet above the ground to clear the pale green wall (it wasn't actually green until 1947, but let's not quibble). Anything less would produce a unique "thunk" as it hit the wall and be reflected back into play.



We turned our attention toward the "Star Spangled Banner" (the flag and the song) and then headed back out to find our seats on the roof.

Our seats were high above first base with a remarkable view of the diamond with feeling like you were miles away. Instantly, Tommy (one of the religious himself since childhood) began explaining the displayed stats to me. I always knew that the appeal of professional baseball often comes from a familiarity--if not memorization--of statistics. I did not grow up with baseball fans in my house or hang out with any baseball fans when I was young (let's face it, I didn't hang out with anyone when I was young--I was woefully unpopular) so I've never had baseball stats explained to me. Oh, I've been to a couple of local double-A minor league games, but never saw an appeal over the mascot racing a 5-year-old around the bases between innings. But Tommy was a wealth of information. Over the course of the evening he explained what the designated hitter was, the pinch runner, the pinch hitter and just about everything else that was outside of my limited mental view of baseball.

He explained to me that at the professional level, baseball is like chess. It's not (like in little league) a matter of luck or dominating players or any of the things you tend to associate with professional basketball or soccer. He showed me how he, by strictly being a fan, could predict what would happen next on the field. He could tell me when a steal or a bunt or a walk was coming up.

"How do you know that?"

"It's all statistics. See he's got a man on two and three and the batter up has a decent batting average of .320 with eleven homers so far this season, so he can't afford the risk of throwing strikes and chance that the batter will connect. So he's gotta walk him."


It was becoming clear to me why statistics were so important to the teams and why it made the game interesting for the fans. I could see why keeping a stat of how a player hits against a given pitcher becomes of supreme importance when you're talking about the large money involved in pro sports. A losing season could drive next year's ticket sales down (though not in Boston or Chicago, but that's different).

The big news of the night was Tony Clark. Tommy told me this was his rookie season with the Sox after three consecutive 30-homer seasons with the Tigers. After starting the season strong, he quickly fell into a slump. When he was up to bat, we could feel a collective psychic groan from the crowd. The feeling that Clark could deliver, but probably won't was more than stated to me by Tommy, the collective body language of the entire crowd was screaming it to me. In that sense, they were not disappointed. Clark struck out his first and third at-bats with and inconsequential hit on his second at-bat.

After Clark's second strike-out, Tommy commented that, by the scoreboard, it was still 91 degrees at 9:00 p.m. I though I'd see how the weather was back home so I called Time and Temperature in Fort Wayne and not only did it tell me it was 92 and 8:00 p.m., it also reminded me that it was July 3rd. Shit. It was my parents wedding anniversary. I gave them a call.

"Mom!"
"Hi! Where are you?"
"I'll tell you in a minute, can you get Dad on the phone?"
"Sure, I'll give him the phone and get on the extension in the bedroom."
Dad. "Hey. It's loud there."
"Yes, it is. Is Mom on?"
"I'm here."
"Cool. I just wanted to wish you a happy anniversary from Fenway Park where I'm watching the Red Sox play Toronto."

They were genuinely impressed and thanked me for the call. I told them where I was sitting in case they caught the highlights on the news and wanted to look for me. Back to the game...

It's the bottom of the eighth and the relatively boring game has yielded a 2-2 score. Suddenly excitement breaks out! pinch-runner Rickey Henderson steal second by plowing into a misguided ball thrown by a Toronto infielder (Darren Fletcher, for those of you keeping stats at home) and knocking the ball into the outfield giving him the opening to steal third. After another out and two more single base-hits, the bases are loaded with two outs and guess who's coming to dinner? Mr. Tony Clark steps up to the plate in a left-handed posture (he's a switch-hitter, which means he can bat left- or right-handed). Tommy lets a "jeez" escape under his breath. I didn't need an explanation this time--tie game at the bottom of the eighth and the could-be-except-for-the-slump star is at bat. Toronto's Cliff Politte quickly racks Clark up to a full count--three balls, two strikes. The next pitch is the thing.

"He's thinking he's gonna choke, isn't he?" I ask Tommy.
"Probably"
"The pitcher thinks he will too. He's going to throw a strike. He can't afford to walk in the run."
"Yep. He's going straight up the chute. No doubt there."

Politte winds up and sends a fastball down the middle and Clark swings. And hits! And the ball grounds past the second baseman and into center field. Tony is stunned for a second, as we all are, and bolts for first. The crowd cheers, Henderson bolts from his stolen third base, comes home and 31,777 fans leap to a simultaneous, deafening ovation. Tony Clark has come through! The hero the fans knew was inside of him has finally come out to play.

The ovation continues until Boston's Merloni steps up to the plate. He hits a carbon copy of Clark's center-field grounder to bring in run number 4 and keep the bases loaded. Now that Clark is on second, thew coaching staff sends Rickey Henderson in to pinch run for him. As Clark walks off the field, his teammates high-five him and the ground gives him another standing ovation. He has made good and everyone knows it.

The icing on the cake comes as Shea Hillenbrand is struck by Politte's second pitch and the automatic walks drive a 5th run in and the last nail in Toronto's coffin. A pop-fly out to left field ends the eighth inning.

No here we are at the top of the ninth with a score of 5-2. If this were LA or San Deigo, the fans would be pouring out of the stadium convinced that the game was won and convinced that leaving now will help them beat traffic out of the stadium. I've seen this on television (that's the only reason I know, and then only on the 11 O'Clock news highlights...by accident). But not in Boston. The religion that is the Sox at Fenway keeps the congregation in this classic cathedral until the last drop of opponents blood is spilled. Boston fans are there for real.

Nothing happens to even thing up in the top of the ninth, so the game is over. (They don't play the bottom of the ninth if the home team is ahead.) A few hits, a few runs, a hero redeemed, the sacrament of the dog and the beer and I am bitten, just a bit, by the baseball bug.

I'm bitten enough to be pissed that Bud Selig called the All-Star game after the 11th inning and to know why I'm pissed. I'm bitten enough to want to take my tom-boy middle daughter to a Cubs game. I'm even bitten enough to consider seeing the Reds play the Cubs in Cincinnati the day after Fray Day 6.

We'll see.
bushed

I've been so tired this week. The kids have been at grandma's but I still can't seem to get anything done or to bed on time. I started the final installment of the Boston story over lunch yesterday. I should clean my car today over lunch, but I may finish that story instead.

I've been slow in posting as I've been concentrating on doing my job instead, I hope you all understand. It's hard to find time to post at home without telling She-who-must-not-be-named what I'm doing.

I have a lot of issues right now I could blog about, but don't know which I should blog about or where to start. I've currently been struggling with: budgeting, religion/faith, lust, home organization, and writing/getting published. If any of those topics appeal to you or you want to know what I'm talking about, drop me a comment (private is fine), and I'll see what I can do. Not much marriage-related stuff to post because it's all tentatively working right now. I know I don't want to read blogs about "smug marrieds" 'cause they're boring and seem like bragging. If things change, rest assured, I'll tell you.

Oh, one more thing: an angst-ridden blog about boys and breakups that smacks with the sweet after-tase of limerence.

That is all.

20020710

prelude to the sox
Boston, Part II, 03 July 2002

"I'll tell what I thought we'd do, Ricky."

It was Tommy. He always calls me Ricky. His penchant for the diminutive form of everyone's name is remarkable. Mostly remarkable for me as I never know if it's a Tommy thing or a Boston thing. Tommy's a native. You can tell by how he drives.

"What's that Tommy?"

"I thought we'd go catch the Sox at Fenway."

"Wow. Really? I've never been to a pro baseball game before." Nor have I ever wanted to. I'm sure my tone betrayed me.

"Ah, Ricky-boy, yah'll love it. Fenway's a classic. You'll get to see the Green Monstah."

"What's that?"

"What's the Monstah? Oh, God, Ricky, you've nevah heard of the Green Monstah? Well, you have to go then. We'll ah-knock over a coupla brews and head down thah. Call me tomorrow when you're done with your shit and we'll work it out."

"Okay, I will," promised I.

Wednesday, July 3rd was the second 100-degree day in a row. This was some kind of a record for Boston. Every public establishment in Beantown was like a meat locker. I could have sworn I saw cold mist roll out of a couple of doors as I walked into over-compensating air conditioning. I learned that Boston only has about three 90-degree days a summer and this was one of them. In Indiana we have four to six weeks of 90 degrees and most of it more humid than it was when I was out East. On the flip side, they have three times as many snow plows per capita as Indiana, so I guess it all equals out somehow.

I sat sweltering for a half an hour next to a middle-aged man in horn-rims at the McDonald's (apparently I was lucky enough to choose the only under-air-conditioned esablishment in the city to meet Tommy at) near Boston University while Tommy finished his sales rounds. Horn-rimmed Guy would stand up about every five minutes, throw down his paper, straighten his too-small three-button golf shirt and start swearing at...at... himself? his invisible friend? management injustice? no clue, but then he'd sit and go back to his crossword in the paper that he studied without filling in any boxes. He didn't even have a pencil.

Tommy came and got me about three and a half hours before the game and gave me a frenetic, freakishly Bostonian driving tour of downtown. Through the financial district, through the Chinese district, past the rows upon rows of hole-in-the wall authentic Italian restaurants, and down Newbury Street--what he called the "Rodeo Drive of Boston" where merchants paid $175 per square foot for the honor of selling to snooty college students with Mom and Dad's credit cards. We drove past Radcliffe and a dozen other university campuses (there are something like forty universities in the greater Boston area if you count the Cambridge side of the Charles River) and finally onto a very narrow, very rough cobblestone street where he stopped by and oddly out-of-place 18th century wooden house squeezed between 19th century brownstones and storefronts.

"This is Paul Revere's house" Tommy commented proudly. And indeed a small brown sign hung from the front with "Paul Revere's House" Emblazoned in gold, scrolling letters on its painted face. "This is the last un-improved street in the city, they used to all be this cobblestone." I believed him, how could I not?

A few blocks farther he pointed out an art deco parking garage that seemed in remarkably good repair for an eighty-year-old building. "They just rebuilt it." he said, surprising me, "This is what it looked like before they raized it and put up this new one. But the old one looked like stong wind would bring it down. They built the new one to look exactly like the old one down to the big 'garage' sign there on the front."

At this point, I shouldn't have been surprised after noticing how much Boston liked to retain as much old architecture as possible. Truly an enchanting trip that must have taken us miles from downtown, but I was surprised when in moments we were driving past the McDonalds he had picked me up from 2 hours before.

Me: "How'd we get here?"

"I 've been driving yah in circles the whole time."

There's no way I could have told you that from the wicked curves and backtracks all through the city. So in confusion, I heard him say it was time to head down to Fenway for the game.

As we approached the park, the parking prices went up, from $10 to park 5 miles from the stadium to $40 to park next door. Tommy chose to park on the street within walking distance and we fed the meter to give us hour and forty-five minutes parking time.

"Won't you get a ticket?" I asked, knowing we wouldn't see his SUV for another four hours.

"Oh, most definitely, but it's cheapah than pahking in a garage. I get a ticket for thirty bucks but it cost me forty to park in the garage. It's a better deal out here."

We strolled down toward Uno's Bar. Along the way, we stopped at a hack shop to pick me up a Red Sox baseball cap somewhat as a memento, but mostly to insure that my receding hairline didn't get any more sunburnt in the 100-degree heat.

The bar was where he was set to meet his friend of a friend who was a scalper to get the tickets. Apparently there are no tickets available for Red Sox games. The scalping business is so large that organized crime fronts scalpers the money to buy up season tickets for a lot of the good seats. We got lucky though. After squeezing in at the bar (standing room only), Tommy headed out to the street to get our tickets. He came back in with a big smile.

"You are not going to believe what I got."

Having no point of reference, I prepared myself to be amazed by whatever he told me. "What's that?"

"I got roof box seats, they are incredible seats, and cause I know the guys best friend, I got 'em without the sauce!"

Boggle.

"I mean I didn't have to pay him any extra, I got 'em at face value! That means extra money for beer!" To the bartender: "Give us a coupla more here, buddy. Thanks."

Three Sam Adams Light's later we were off to Fenway and the Green Monster, whatever that is....

to be continued...

20020709

milestone

Todays' my 13th wedding anniversary. I had four paragraphs written that my browser lost.

Suffice to say: I'm surprised we made it this far; I should feel lucky; I feel like a lot still needs to change.

Wish I had time to re-write it...

20020708

my post on HMS

Sorry no post right now (but I am currently working on the other Boston installment), because I poured my heart and soul into this post on Half Mad Spinster.

Enjoy.
boston
04 July 2002 -- Boston

You know what's really scary? Everybody in Boston drives like me. Of course, as most people know, none of the streets are straight or have lane markings. Making matters worse is that the vast majority of the streets are one-way. So if you accidentally get on a street curving the way you don't want to go, you can't just pull a u-turn and go back the way you came; you have to find a roundabout that will take you to a tree that goes back in the general direction you came from. For a guy who loses his sense of direction when a road has nay curve at all, I was totally lost in Boston. Good thing I wasn't actually driving. I was riding with a native Bostonian and it struck me that the thing that unifies Boston drivers is that they all decide at the last moment which way they want to turn. I have never seen so many people make left turns from right lanes and right turns from left lanes in my life. (It's illegal in Indiana.)

Adding insult to injury, you can never be sure how many lanes there are, let alone which one you're in:
'Hey! You just turned left out of the right lane!'
'Oh yeah? Prove it! Do you see any lanes marked here?'
Scary.

Well I did get to see all the famous places: Boston Common (called that because 200 years ago, it was common cattle grazing area for Boston residents who owned cattle. Or rather, their cattle grazed there, not the residents), Harvard Square (which isn't), the boat houses, the harbor, Paul Revere's House and Fenway Park. Seeing the Sox at Fenway was the highlight of my trip. I'll tell the story very soon, I promise....

to be continued...

20020707

coming home
28 June 2002 -- Wisconsin Dells

We just got on the interstate leaving the Wisconsin Dells/Lake Delton Area (in Wisconsin, of course). My wife twisted some time-share condominium telemarker's arm and got us nearly a whole 3-day vacation for next to nothing. Keeping in mind that The Dells is a major Tourist Trap (read "overpriced"), we did well to go three days and two nights for only $300 total. Lodging was free and some of the other stuff we got free tickets or discounts to.

Other than the 2-hour long forty-five minute presentation by Bluegreen's Chrismas Mountain resort sales pitch, we had a great time. Nearly every major hotel (ours: Antigua Bay) has it's own water slides and nubile lifeguards.

I'd been there a dozen times as a kid, and a lot of it was a bi trite and old hat for me, but it was nice to relive the wonder through my children's eyes. The new wonderment to me was the kitsch factor. When I was a kid in the seventies and eighties, all the hotels built in the fifties and early sixties seemed sad and time-worn. Now, cruising down the strip of hotels in Lake Delton and the shops of the downtown Dells shopping district, I was awe-struck by the often well-preserved kitschiness of the whole thing. I've taken about a hundred digital pictures of the largest collection of early sixties kitsch hotel signs and retail signs I've ever seen. (I would guess that the Poconos in Pennsylvania has a similar offering, but I haven't been there.) What South Beach in Miami is to art deco, Wisconsin Dells is to this stuff.

Adding to the entertainment (in a tragic sort of way, like seeing has-been stars in a Branson show) of the trip was to witness the bastardization of every scrap of local Native American heritage-- "Big Chief Karts and Coasters," "Native Sun" swimwear, "Chippewa Motel," and "Ericsons Tepee Park and Campground" to name but a few. As icing, those who didn't have a sixties-era hotel sign to restore or a Native American phrase to twist, there was always room for random adulteration of other Bits of Americana. Don't forget to stop by "Paul Bunyan's Up-North Gift House and Bakery", stay at the "Robin Hood Resort" or party at the "Copa Cabana" (not Copacabana, mind you, that would be to obvious).

Anyway, we had a swell, if bourgeois, time. And She-who-must-not-be-named got a hell of a package out of a time-share telemarketer to go. The time-share presentation wasn't the hell most people make them out to be and it wasn't hard to say no. So we sacrificed two hours of a three day vacation to save about $400 in expenses. I can't complain.

I'll get that photo essay up soon.

20020706

it's me

Well, I have a travelogue for both Wisconsin Dells and Boston. They are upstairs on my laptop. If I get up the gumption, I'll go get them on floppy and post them. I'm so far behind on my blog reading. I hate it when I read a blog a few days after a friend (in this case two friends) report a crisis and I'm not there to be supportive. I'm just a supportive king of guy, I guess.

What does that say about me? What does it mean that I'm dismayed when my fellow bloggers anguish and I'm too late to comment or email or call. I guess one thing it says is that I count these people I've never met in meatspace as real people. It also says that problems come and go without my comments. Encouraging, yet humbling.

20020704

logan

I'm at a public access terminal at Logan waiting for my connection to Cincinatti where I'll wave to Mary, Robin and Jeff before flying home. Thought I'd say "hi!"

Saw a Red Sox game (client bought) last night. I am not a sports fan, least of a baseball, but I had a totally rockin time even if it was 92 degees at 9:00 at Fenway Park. Fenway is a very cool culture. Fights over foul balls, and they don't leave even when the Sox are up by three in the bahttom of the 8th. They stay to see Toronto (or the much-despised Yankees) bleed. Real christian-and-lion shit thah, I'll tell yah.

Boston is a cool town. Will blog about the trip later. Maybe on the flight, maybe not.

20020702

outta here

I'm leaving for the airport. See you soon!

I'm getting verklemmpt... one moment ... talk amongst yourselves; here's a topic:
The "Children of God" are neither children nor gods.
Discuss.

20020701

...on a jet plane

Well I have a post about my vacation last week to Wisconsin Dells to post, but it ain't done. I'm flying to the Boston area Tues-Thur of this week. So if you don't see a post, that's why, plases don't go away forever I'll be back on Friday. But! If I can get the vacation post typed on the plane and I get to a browser (likely) I'll post it tomorrow or Wednesday.

I love you all and appreciate your support. Be patient, constant reader, the time will come.

Oh, did I mention that I'm returning on the Fourth of July, with terrorist warnings on that day on a lightly-populated jet flying out of Logan? Scary. A list of items you can't take on a plane. Very Scary.

Note to Kristín: I still would like to answer your comment about what we've learned from history, but I want to do it right. Not emotionally, but thoughtfully. I haven't forgotten you.
definitely not off the deep end

Tyson pointed out this site. A site for "Trixies" that live in Lincoln Park, IL. This is the single most shallow thing I've seen in months. (And I read all the way through an issue of "Girl's Life" yesterday!) Is anyone really that shallow?

(Okay, so the site is tongue-in-cheek, but there's a ring of truth to the whole bit that screams ephatically that there ARE people that shallow in Lincon Park! )