for best taste

I came home to two half-empty cans of Mountain Dew on the kitchen table. The cans were upside down, yet not spilling. A cursory inspection revealed that there were holes poked in the bottom of the cans near the date stamp.

Four times I inquired "why are we drinking out of Mountain Dew can with holes in the bottom."

Three times I got no response.

The fourth time, my eldest indicated that my middle child had done this for her and The Rooster. The middle child curled into a ball of embarrassment as Roo pointed out the arrow printed on the side of the can, which read:

"For best taste, drink by date on bottom of can."

Roo said they wanted to see if it really tasted better that way...

ode to a dead mouse

Mr. Mousie, small and quick,
Death, you met, with a measure-stick.
Skittering down the woodwork ledge,
He whacked you with the ruler's edge.
You looked so very picturesque,
Perched upon the foreman's desk.
Your face was fix'd in deep chagrin,
Once rigor mortis settled in.

7 May 1992

from a bathroom wall in celina, oh

"Balls!" said the Queen, "I could be king if I had to."
The king just smiled...because he had to.

it's time to speak of many things...of babes and...babes!

I know full well there is a league of Katie Couric haters out there, but I am not one of them. I watched her take Leno's place last night. Damn. They even put in a different desk so they could do the ET/Mary Hart thing and light her incredible legs for all the world to gaze at. I'm just a sucker for big smiles and she's certainly the queen of big smiles. For being 46 years old, she looks astounding. She's not married either. Hmmm...

And! I went to see the lackluster Daddy Day Care with Eddie Murphy because my middle daughter wanted to see it. It had a few laughs, but had a woefully inept script in general. But! Lacey Chabert makes the movie worth seeing. She's barely in it, but our little Claudia Salinger (from "Party of Five") has grown up into a twenty-year-old's body! And a body that is perpetually clad in a school-uniform skirt, white button-down shirt and white stockings throughout this movie. Ever since Lost in Space I knew she had real babe potential, this really clinches it.

wrangled!

With the help of another friend on Saturday, I now have a plan to catch up my budget by the end of August. Of course I have to change it already after some new information today, but I get the concept. I need to code it back into a spreadsheet so I can adjust a little here and there and get the numbers to cascade. Robin suggested there was a method in Quicken ("a hard way and an easy way") but I doubt it's compatible with the method we are using (i.e. bills for each week with "carry-over" amt.).

Anyway, if I can stick to it, things should be bitchen.

Let's hope.

wrangling the bills

My brother came over last night and helped me sort through and discover all of my debts. He says I make plenty of money to pay everything back. It's my goal with my other friend tomorrow to figure out how to catch everything up.

Got eight, eight, and seven hours of sleep the last three nights. I was AWAKE! this morning. I didn't even miss the coffee on the way to work. I was on time to work and I've gotten a ton done! Thank God the phone hasn't been ringing.

Roo Note:
The Rooster was taking a turn reading The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe the other night. When I read it, I use a royal British, Cockney, Scottish and Irish accents for the different characters. When she read it (she's eight) she simply used a British (read Harry Potter) accent for all the characters, but it was a better accent than most adults can seem to muster. She's a little ham, that one is. A chip off the old block.

another relatively good day

...although I can't seem to stop eating. I'm sure it's the quitting thing. Robin is coming over tonight to help me dig out of my pile of bills and figure out what I really owe, then Saturday another friend is stopping by to help with the budget.

I've got some good friends.

The Ex doesn't want to go out of her way to see her children, it seems. This both shocks and dismays me.

no shit

I'm a different person today.

I think the Celexa's kicking in, which is helping me not feel so overwhelmed. The Zyban is doing the trick in helping me quit--hopefully for good this time. And, I thought of Ben Franklin and went to bed last night at the ungodly early hour of 9:00 p.m. I awoke a 5:00 a.m.

Eight whole hours of sleep!

I got some laundry done this morning. I made the kids breakfast. And I came into work an hour earlier than I usually do. I've been productive at work. Wow. A good day.

Let's hope I have more of them.

shit

Hold me now, I'm six feet from the edge and I'm thinkin' maybe six feet ain't so far down. --Creed, "One Last Breath"

I only have one answer for anyone who asks me how I am: overwhelmed.

I'm barely hanging in there. Depression encourages me to watch way to much TV and do nothing that I should. Tonight I just got one day closer to everything crumbling on my head emotionally and especially financially. SKB comes and helps me clean and organize. It's great and feels like there's light at the end of the tunnel when she's here, but then she goes and I'm instantly overwhelmed again. Being truly overwhelmed at work doesn't make matters any better. A co-worker, knowing everything both personal and professional about my life told me the other day "Dude, you don't feel overwhelmed, you are overwhelmed."

I can't work overtime to dig out of work 'cause then I'm not home with the kids. To pay a sitter would make me even worse off financially and do the kids a disservice, I think. Plus I have to find time to dig out at home. I've discovered one more way I'm like my father: answering depression with television, then blaming the television for my own shortcomings.

Can someone work a magick spell and sort my finances out? 'Cause I'm pretty sure that foreclosure would be really bad for the kids.

Fuck. Fuckity-fuckity-fuckity-fuck.

Fuck.

bust

What would you do if you threw a great party and no one came? 1st Annual Junkyard Wars was a bust. SKB and my brother were the only ones who showed up Friday night, despite my having invited at least two dozen people. The real problem, I guess, is that I didn't give anyone enough warning. The invites went out late...

So the three of us put away the two dozen Jello shots, meatballs and cheese balls that SKB so graciously (and deliciously) made.

At least I didn't have a mess to clean up.

snappy answer of the year

A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam. "Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury or illness, or a death in your immediate family but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!"

A smart-ass guy in the back of the room raised his hand & asks, "What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete & utter sexual exhaustion?"

The entire class does its best to stifle their laughter. When silence is restored, the teacher smiles sympathetically at the student, shakes her head, & sweetly says, "Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand."