novel

Not that I truely have time, but I signed up for National Novel Writing Month. The goal is to write a 50,000 word novel between November 1 and November 30. If you finish 50,000 words, you win!

Tony signed up too.


addendum 3:40 p.m.

I plan to post excerpts as I go.

I was thinking that I post a lot better when I have a mission. When Mary T. pointed out that I had a mission when I was writing about my failing marriage, it set me on fire. When I wrote about the divorce process and all, I was on fire again.

Maybe. Maybe.

celexa again

The 30 mg appears to be doing exactly the right thing. My doctor re-prescribed it this morning.

I'm happier than I have been in weeks.

red sox

Dammit
Dammit
Dammit
Dammit
Dammit
Dammit
Dammit
Dammit
Dammit
Dammit
Dammit
Dammit
Dammit

cubs

Dammit
Dammit
Dammit
Dammit
Dammit
Dammit
Dammit
Dammit
Dammit
Dammit
Dammit
Dammit
Dammit

of course

Someone asked me the other day: "If you could speak with one person, either living or dead, who would it be?"

I said, "the living one?"

words of christ printed in red

"Whosoever shall say Thou fool, shall be in danger of hellfire."
Matthew 5:22

"Ye fools and blind."
Matthew 23:17

celexa

Well, 40 mg did the trick with the depression, but it also made me narcoleptic. I've stepped it back to 30 mg to see if I can stay awake and not be depressed...

this is why

A year ago, I separated from my wife.

A year ago, I started taking Celexa, an antidepressant, that changed my life. It took all my overwhelmedness and converted it into clear-thinking productivity.

About two months ago, the Celexa stopped working for me like it used to. Add to that the additional deadlines at work and my apparent inability to properly budget, and my emotional world has slowly imploded over the last six to eight weeks.

That's why I stopped blogging every day. Of all the things with which I was overwhelmed, the blog seemed to be the easiest one with which to dispense.

I went to the doctor today. He said that he often sees 20 mg of Celexa stop being as effective after about a year and he stepped my dose to 40 mg. He said it's not a tolerance issue and I won't need to step it up again, but I pray to God (in a manner of speaking) that this does the trick. If I get everything sorted out, and the Celexa gives me my brain back, the daily blogging will resume.

There's a chance that won't happen.

There's also a chance that--in my clear-minded task reorganization--I'll rationally decide that I simply don't have time to commit to this.

I hope not.

budget rant

I have negative balances.

It's not money. It's talent for budgeting. I have none.

Why does America stress that everyone can budget if they just try hard enough? I'm sick of this American more that says that you're stupid or lazy if you can't budget.

That's like me saying that everyone can do HTML if they'd just learn it. Kevin is incredibly intelligent, but he can't wrap his brain around HTML. That doesn't make him stupid or lazy.

Anybody can learn to play the piano, but not everyone can get to performance level. Same with everything.

If I'm terrible at landscaping, I hire a landscaper. Why do people think I'm lazy if I want to hire and accountant to do my budget for a percentage of my income?