lonely and quiet

Well, last night was the first night I was to go straight to my apartment after work and spend the evening moving in. I got there and it was so quiet I felt really alone. I turned on the television and ate some supper. I called my friend who lives just down the street (one of the reasons I moved where I did, proximity of friends) and told her I was lonely. I just wanted to talk to someone. Hopefully this feeling goes away a bit. Either that or I'm going to have to start listening to a lot more music so I don't get sucked into the TV all the time.

Anyway, about ten minutes after I hung up with her, she called back and hurriedly asked me to come over and watch her five-year-old daughter, as her husband had just "sawed his finger" and they were going to the emergency room. I rushed over and watched their little girl dance in front of Nickelodeon for a few hours. Turns out they were going to take her but they couldn't find her shoes and he was about to pass out from the pain.

He returned with eleven stiches, but all fingers intact. I got home at 11:30 and called it a night. Almost. Then I remembered that I was supposed to bring Cranberry sauce for "Deep-Fried Turkey Day" at work today, so I ran back out to the store and picked some up, along with a few essentials like bread and a toilet brush.

Tonight I get the kids for Thanksgiving and return them Friday. I'll have another chance to be lonely over the weekend.

I hope not.

Gotta get the CD player hooked up.

no man is an island; but when you pee, yer a nation

I've complied a list of euphemisms for male urination, as there didn't seem to be an exhaustive one on the Internet. Feel free to submit additions.

drain the main vein
feed the goldfish
go
go number one
hang a wang
lift my leg
look at the crops
pass water
pay a visit to the old soldiers' home
pee
piss
relieve myself
retreat to the holy of holies
see a man about a dog
see a man about a horse
shake hands with the unemployed
shake one
shake the snake
shake the weasel
sharpen the skates
take a leak
test the plumbing
visit the chamber of commerce
void
water the plants
wee
wee-wee
whizz

auugh!

I went "home" to my new apartment for lunch today. After zapping some leftover Carlos O'Kelly's cuisine, I realized I had no silverware!

So I ate it with an ice cream scoop.

moved out (again)

Well I officially moved into my apartment last night. As I was leaving the house, She-who-must-not-be-named drove up with her new boyfriend to spend the night. Just like last time I moved out. Alas. I've known this guy's family for years and he's not the asshole that Tattooine turned out to be. We talked about him briefly.

"Doesn't he have car?" says I.

"Well he does, but it's a..." She makes a face.

"Piece of crap?" I say finishing her thought.

"Yeah, but he's on Social Security..."

I chuckle. "No, no, I can't say it. It's too obvious a joke."

"What?"

"I was just gonna say 'boy, you really know how to pick 'em.'"

She smiles at me coyly, "I'm in in for love now, I'm not in it for money, I've learned what's important."

Under my breath: "So how come I never had that option?"

I don't love my children if I don't want to make more money. She said that. I remember.

unprotected sex from a new angle

Tony Pierce has a remarkable post about--of all things--why women should ask men to wear condoms and men should always obey.

It's easy to miss stuff in Tony's writing 'cause he's so off the wall, but you really need to read this one. He's got the unique perspective thing happening there. Very effective.

want!

I want this for my apartment!

man!

This Fish Needs A Bicycle is a fecking great blog. I just keep forgetting to mention it. She writes in a Bridget jones voice but, unlike other blogs that attempt it, she pulls it off well. Also, there's an intense limerence factor.

Go there.

coolness!



I got the first Art Deco things for my apartment last night. I went to Lowe's and got me this Faux Tiffany Floor Lamp and Desk Lamp Combo set! (If it asks for a ZIP code, put in yours or 46804 if you are foreign.) They are so incredibly cool. Mind you, I don't care if the Art Deco stuff is period or imitation. Doesn't bother me a bit. This is just too cool for words! Yay!!!

bop bop bopping along

Harry Potter II was cool. They left out some non-plot parts. Fine by me. As well-made as the first. Worth seeing on a big screen.

I moved my computer stuff to the apartment last night and set it all up. It felt so good to be there. It was so much like home already. She-who is driving me a little nuts and I'm glad to be fixing to go. Got some Art Deco plans for the living room and bathroom. My landlord is thrilled to have a tenant who respects the place for what it is and doesn't want to destroy it's historical significance. Can't wait to have a housewarming party. Probably in January or so. Hope some of you can come. I hope to webcast it for the rest of you.

I've decided (per Fluff's advice in last comments) to not even consider dating unless it falls into my lap. It's fallen into my lap enough in the past that I have faith that it will fall into my lap in the future. I just need to be sure to hang out in places (real and cyber) where the type of people I want falling into my lap hang out.

Oh, and I'm becoming addicted to taquitos, thanks to some blogger (whom I mistakenly thought was Mary T.) who raved about them about 10 months ago. (If it was you, stand up and take credit.)

moving on

Well, I moved all the stuff out of my friend's house into my apartment last night. She-who is back from her R&R and seems to be coping well. Her mom is probably going to come live with her and the kids. That should be a good thing. Plus it gives me an out. I need to get away from there. She going to date and I'm going to get crazy. I'm going to think every guy she meets is a loser.

I've been poking around the dating world but haven't pursued it out of lack of time. I just want to get moved. Going to have a serious chat with her this weekend about when I'm leaving (again!).

Joe Dirt is out of her life. She says he's "poison." Good! That was just too much stress... Her R&R helped her realize that she needs to learn how to be self-sufficient and not rely on men. Hope she does.

Taking the kids to see Harry Potter at 7:30 tomorrow night. Can't wait!

eminem

Shut up and listen.

I take back all that bad shit I said about him
I should have listened to the stuff before chose to doubt him
A guy at work burned some Slim, said "find out about him"
Got a grip, what a trip, so I've flipped, jumped the ship
Now I can't fuckin' drive without him.

The real Slim Shady's got a bad attitude,
His brains all fucked up, his rhymes are so crude.
But as a master of the art, he's so down, sound real good
Brings it home, got the stones, makes no bones, grab the phone
And tell all your friends 'bout the phat Slim Shady dude.

Word.

shocking?

My mother-in-law is coming tomorrow to help with and visit with the girls. She is v. unsupportive of She-who's situation. She's an ignoramus when it comes to twenty-first century thinking. She want's to visit She-who in her current away-ness, but I don't know if the wife will like that much.

The good news is, she'll babysit so I can get some work done Saturday night and then I think I might even go out. I might even go down to the jam-packed college bar multi-plex and see if someone actually makes eye-contact with me. That would make me feel better. I'm doing so much damned giving right now, a little getting would be nice.

Any meatspacers out there free Saturday so I won't look so lame alone at a college bar?

people, people, people

Foreign Phrase Pronunciation Guide

vice versa - VICE-a VERSE-a (not "vice versa")
en masse - ahn moss (not "in mass")
en route - anh root (not "in rowte")

That is all.

oy vey!

My wife is away again. Has been since Monday. I'm still living at the house with the kids. Struggling with what to do with the apartment. Do I move stuff into it? Do I let it go and move back to Columbia City with the kids? Near the kids? Now there's also a custody issue with her instablilty. So many questions. So much weight. Hard to blog any of it. Sorry I can't say more.

*ralph*

Isn't the name of this promotion nausiating as hell?

too funny for words

Trust me. Click here.

wackos! -or- truth is stranger than fiction

This website is the home of the organization protesting against the second installment of the J.R.R. Tolkien Lord Of The Rings movie being named "The Two Towers"

See the site: twotowersprotest.org

safety first

Police in Ontario, Canada, are on a campaign to ensure motorists wear their seatbelts. They stopped a car in Mississauga after seeing a child unrestrained in the back. The officer found the child couldn't be belted in because the seatbelt was already in use -- to secure a case of beer. "It was like this guy cared more for his precious beer bottles getting smashed than he did for his son going through the windshield," an officer said. (Mississauga News)

from This is True newsletter

progress

Well, She-who-must-not-be-named is home now. I'll be staying with her and the kids for a few days.

Anxiety is high for me right now.

The good news is that I'm getting $1500 in pain and suffering for my accident! The bad news is that it's not quite enough to satisfy my mortgage company. Anybody know where I can get a few hundred dollars overnight? Legally? I wonder how hard it is to become a male prostitute in the bible belt... I don't have my liquor permit yet or I'd go out todaylooking for a bartending job.